Adopting an Older Child

Children Walking on Trail

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There are so many older children available waiting to be adopted into a loving home. It has been estimated that there are over 100,000 children in foster care within America waiting for someone to care enough to take them in and make them part of a family.

Most people when considering adoption usually think of a baby. Sadly, there are so many infertile couples looking for a baby that they are often hard to find. Why not consider adopting an older child? Children that fall in this category may be ages two and up.

Often overlooked because of certain extreme stories that have hit the headlines across America, older foster children have gotten a bad rap. Older children can be a blessing to any family. There are many more testimonials to a great adoption than there are to a bad one.

Many older children in the foster care system end up waiting over 35 months to be adopted. Some never are adopted at all, sadly. Think of what life must be like for these children who are often bounced from foster home to foster home.

An older child actually can be less work, much easier to get to know and less demanding than a baby. If you are looking for a child with a particular personality, maybe someone that will be the perfect fit for your family consider an older child.

One option that many families have tried is being a foster parent. After spending time with a child many families often opt to adopt the child because they have come to love them as family. Consider adopting today!

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The Best Age To Adopt a Child?

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The child adoption process is a life altering decision. From budgeting concerns and introducing a new addition to the family to determining the best age to adopt, each step should be carefully considered. Anyone who has decided to take this big step should first take the time to determine which age is the most appropriate for his or her adoption needs.

Many families are interested in adopting an infant. There is a generalized belief that it is easier to bond with an infant. Others are concerned that adopting an older child may present some risks in the form physical or psychological health. Instead of focusing on these often misguided beliefs, it may be more effective to consider what you, as parents, have to offer a child. Use this information to determine the best age to adopt.

Once you have selected an age range, you may want to consider how to introduce a new addition to your family. If you have chosen to adopt an infant, this process will be relatively simple. A toddler or older child may require some thought. You may want to consider purchasing age and gender appropriate toys for your new addition. For example, if you are adopting a five year old girl, you may want to purchase a doll and doll clothes for her.

Making the decision to adopt is what is really important – not the adoption process or whether the child is two or three. Adopting a child means creating a new family, and giving a gift to a child that truly needs it.

 

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Adopting an Infant

Many couples when they wish to adopt will want to adopt a newborn child. This is their opportunity to feel as if they had their own child and the best way to feel as if the child is a part of their family. Adoptions when the child is an infant is often viewed as easier for the child and the parents. However, there are some factors that go into the adoption of an infant that you should know of before you plan on adopting an infant.

Time Factor. There is a required waiting period to adopt an infant. Depending on the state it could be six months to two years. During this period the parents will have to wait and hope that the birth mother does not change her mind and wish to have the child back.

Requirements to Adopt. There are various requirements that a couple must meet in order to adopt an infant. The requirements are stricter and the agency looks closer at these people than those that adopt children. They will require a higher financial status, a more stable environment and a better health history. There are couples that adopt older children who cannot adopt infants.

Cost. The cost of adopting an infant is higher than an older child. In fact, a survey showed that the cost is almost three times that of what an older child would be.

Adoption Styles. Most adoptions of infants are done through agencies and private adoptions. Very few infant are in foster care and therefore that is not usually an option.

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Helping the Bonding Process

One of the biggest concerns amongst adopted couples is whether or not they will bond with their child. Since there wasn’t that nine months where the mother had time to bond with her child it is often a common fear that the child will be distant and not want to be around the parents. Luckily, there are some things you can do to make the bonding process easier.

Meeting Time. Some adoption agencies will allow you to meet and interact with the child before the adoption. This will allow you to see if you are bonding and if you feel comfortable with the child. Many couples say that they instantly click with some children and not others.

Time Together. After the adoption it is important to spend time together. Hold, cuddle, kiss and love your child. Many experts recommend that you try to get contact with your child as much as possible as this could help you and the child. If you have a younger child resting their head near you and hearing the heart beat is very comforting to them.

Remember it Takes Time. You have to remember that the bonding process will not happen overnight. It will take two to three weeks to really bond with your child. Try not to get discouraged if it does not happen immediately.

Keep People Away. While you might want to spread your joy of having your child try to keep friends and family away so that the child will focus on bonding with you and not others. This helps with the transition phase too.

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