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It’s important for parents who adopt a child to make that child feel like a part of the family from the first time the child sets foot in the home. This is relatively easy when families adopt infants and very young children. However, this process can be a bit more challenging for families adopting children over the age of four. Here are some ways you can quickly incorporate the child into your family:
Space. To ensure that your child feels like a member of the family, you should create a personal space for your child. Whether it’s a room or part of a room, older adopted kids need to have their own place in the home that they can decorate.
Expectations. Apply the same expectations to the child you’ve adopted as you apply to the other children in the home. If they have chores, then create an age-appropriate chore list for the child. Make sure the child understands that he or she is expected to follow rules related to bed time, meal times, and family time. The idea is to bring that child into the daily life of the family as though that child has been there from the beginning.
Attachment. Develop strategies to improve bonding with your child. If you have adopted a teen girl, you might go shopping for Apple Bottoms or shoes together. If your child is between the ages of four and six, you could plan special trips to the park or zoo. By taking the child on special outings and meeting the child’s basic needs on a daily basis, you are establishing trust, which will lead to attachment.
Set aside time to talk to the child about the adoption process. The child may have memories of birth family members or foster parents. Encourage the child to speak openly to you so you can work through difficulties and problems together.
